We just experienced our first realization that we are reaching the "one month point". We have both said that we refuse to have a countdown of how many month's left per what we are told and read. Each person diagnosed is different and Larry does not need to be a part of their statistics. However, we found out that it was impossible not to feel more sad and more nervous as the first of July occurred.
We are still trying to be optimistic. Our counselor today at the Cancer Wellness Place pointed out to be careful. She said that positive thinking and optimism are important but it is like a bowl full of water. If you push the other feelings down under eventually that bowl of water is going to spill over and you could find yourself back at day one again. She suggested setting aside time to let out the other emotions.
Sorry, my emotions are not on a timer. They appear when I least expect them to. Like shopping in a grocery store and crying over the veggies I am picking out. Or having a fight with the garden hose and stomping it with my foot for 2 minutes.
Her suggestion may work better for Larry, though. We are very different when it comes to where we are emotionally at any given time. It is still evolving. There will never be a normal again because each day we awake with not knowing how the day will go but praying that it will be ok. Ok is now good.
